Overcoming little discouragement

I am amazed at how discouragement can take hold of your thinking.  And it doesn't take much!  We often see on diet and exercise forums about not weighing yourself.  When the scale moves, it is like a big boost to continue doing what you are doing.  When it doesn't, or it goes UP, well, all sorts of thoughts of self-worth come to mind.  I saw a saying once that the number on the scale does not measure your self-worth.  It is hard to remember that when you are focusing on that number.  Yesterday I posted about all the other positive things I am noticing.  If only we could have a sign that would flash those at us!!  Why is the number on the scale so powerful?  I have seen lots of places that recommend throwing out the scale.  Maybe someday I will be at that point.  Right now, I'm still using it as a measure of success.  I just have to "self-check" when I let that number have too much power. 

So much of a weight loss journey seems to be mind over matter.  For me, it is about taking my labile emotions out of the equation.  That isn't always easy with my busy life.  I am frequently sleep deprived and stressed.  When I am tired and weary, I get very emotional.  So, I frequently have to STOP myself and redirect my thinking.  It is the BIG picture that is important, not the emotional moment I am in at that point.  If I can just focus on something else for awhile, especially something positive, that negative moment passes.  I am thankful for these experiences that have taught me the value of this.

Positive Feedback

I started Paleo for the 3rd time on 12/9/14.  I was quite familiar with those first days of discomfort.  Day 2-5 I was pretty irritable.  Thankfully, I knew this would happen, I recognized it, and warned my family.  After the first week is done, that passes, but I still felt worn out.  This time, the energy boost didn't start until 3 weeks!  So, I am just starting to enjoy that now.  I am sleeping better, and I need less of it.  That is an added bonus.

I am noticing subtle changes with my body.  I have always been very much "in tune" with my body, so I notice things that others may not.  One of the first things I noticed, is that my double chin doesn't "jiggle" as much.  When I rub my hands over my face, it feels thinner, almost foreign.  At about 2weeks I noticed that when I laid flat on my back I could feel the weight loss in my lower abdomen.  I don't really know how to explain that feeling except to say I felt "less like a busted can of biscuits".  Tonight on my way home from work, I noticed that I am starting to have that feeling when I am sitting up.  It is very cool to not feel like I am bursting out of my clothes.  I also feel like I am no longer stretching my skin to the max.  I wore a size 16W skirt today.  Just a month ago, it was too small.  So, that is very encouraging.

I am feeling much more positive over all.  My kids said that about me when I have been following paleo protocol in the past... they comment on how happy and positive I am.  I am realizing that I am better able to control my anxiety and depression tendencies.  I think this is directly related to gluten and/or process sugar.  So, I am very excited about noticing this because it makes my relationships with my family much healthier.

My bowels are getting closer to normal. It is funny, because I am used to spending so much time in the bathroom, that I used it to escape the craziness of my house.  Well, now I am disappointed because my "business" in the bathroom doesn't take as long.  I'll have to find another place to escape to! 

I am starting to realize that my head is getting clearer.  This is one of the most amazing effects of Paleo to me.  I never really realized that my brain wasn't as alert as it could be.  I am better able to focus.  I feel like I am less forgetful.  At work, I feel like I am better at multitasking, and prioritizing my patient load.  That brain "fog", as it is often called, is a very mysterious thing.  I can hardly believe that changing my diet helps with that.

I am sure that I will recognize more positive things as I move along this journey.  I think it is important to record these initial feelings so when I get discouraged later on, I can remember what this felt like.

Introduction

The holidays are over.  I've been doing Paleo for about 3 weeks.  I'm happy to say that I have lost atleast 6 pounds.  I was afraid to weigh myself when I first started... I waited until I felt a little smaller.  So, I am probably closer to 10 pounds, but we gotta keep it official you know! 

I am looking forward to permanently changing my life.  Of course, my weight is a concern.  But the even bigger issue is my health, and my family.  I have been struggling with anxiety, short bouts of depression, headaches, body aches, constipation/diarrhea, exhaustion, irritability, moodiness... this list could go on for awhile.  I want ALL that to change.  I want to be stable, happy, healthy, and energetic.

Well, maybe I should back up and tell you a bit more about myself.  I have been married for 17+ years.  I married my teenage boyfriend.  It has not always been easy.  We have had some very rocky times.  Sometimes I think the only reason we are still married is because neither one of us want to contact a lawyer and go thru the hassle of divorce!  But, most of the time, that isn't the case.  We have 4 kids.  The oldest is 15, the youngest will be 2 this weekend.  Our life is mainly, just down right crazy.  Nothing has been easy for us.  We have worked hard for everything we own.  But, we are very proud of that, too.   We have a newer Cape Cod home on 7.5 acres in the country.  We raise pigs for butcher, and we sell piglets, too.  We have 2 dogs, woods, a creek, and lots of yard for the kiddoes to run in.

Along with being a wife and mother, I am a Registered Nurse.  I currently work per diem with inpatient Oncology.  I really do enjoy my job.  I especially love working with hospice patients.  I appreciate the Cancer patients, and admire their will to face Cancer head on.  In recent months I have lost my appreciation for how we treat cancer in this country.  I am appalled at the nutrition that we provide to these patients who we are pumping full of chemicals and giving radiation treatments.  But, that is for another post.

I am excited to change my life.  I decided to start blogging about this journey when I had difficulty processing my own thoughts and concerns about it.  My husband has never had a weight problem, and since he is a guy, he doesn't understand some of my "concerns".  I have always been able to process my thoughts "on paper", so I thought I would do that here.  I want it to be for my own encouragement, to inspire me when I am down.  And if it can be a help to another person struggling along, well, then that is an added bonus!  This is going to be a long journey, but I plan to make it a good one!